Why Choosing Yourself isn’t Selfish, It’s Strategic

Let’s just say it out loud because a lot of us are thinking it but feel weird admitting it.

Sometimes we need an excuse to choose ourselves.

And honestly? That’s okay.

Because if you’re a parent, especially a mom, “doing it for yourself” can feel illegal. Like there needs to be a reason. A justification. A permission slip signed by society.

So here it is, queen.
You can choose yourself for your kids.

That counts.

Investing in yourself is not taking something away from them. It’s literally putting more into the system that raises them.

You are the environment.

And I know that sounds dramatic, but think about it.
Your energy. Your patience. Your nervous system. Your sense of joy. Your confidence. Your health. Your dreams.

All of that sets the tone.

When you invest in yourself, you are not being indulgent. You are being preventative. You are being intentional. You are being future-minded.

Because kids don’t just listen to what we say. They absorb what we model.

They notice:
– how you talk to yourself
– whether you rest or run yourself into the ground
– whether you chase things that light you up
– whether you believe you’re worthy of care

You can’t tell a child “you matter” while showing them you don’t believe the same about yourself.

And that’s not guilt. That’s just awareness.

Here’s the part no one really tells you.

A regulated, fulfilled, supported version of you is a better parent than a burnt-out martyr version of you. Period.

Martyrdom doesn’t raise secure kids. Presence does.

Sometimes investing in yourself looks big. Like therapy. Education. A creative outlet. A career shift. A trip that reminds you you’re more than a role.

And sometimes it looks small. Like:

– taking the class
– buying the thing that makes your life easier
– saying no without explaining
– resting without earning it
– letting yourself want more

Those things don’t take away from your kids. They give them a parent who is more available, more grounded, more alive.

And listen. If the only way you can let yourself choose you right now is by framing it as “this is for my kids,” I’m not mad at that.

We all start where we can.

Eventually, you won’t need the excuse anymore.
You’ll choose yourself because you matter.

But if this is the bridge that gets you there? Cross it.

Your kids don’t need you depleted to feel loved.
They need you whole enough to show them what choosing yourself looks like without guilt.

So go ahead. Invest in yourself.
Call it self-care. Call it growth. Call it legacy building. Call it “doing it for the kids.”

Whatever helps you take the step.

Because one day, they’ll grow up watching you live a life that didn’t disappear for them.

And that, queen?
That’s the real inheritance.

You’re not selfish.
You’re strategic.
And honestly… kind of iconic.